to be or not to be??

surprisingly,here i'm again..spending my time reporting what seems to be happened to me=)huh,bigger burden are on my shoulder-to be or not to be?to do or not to do?to believe or not to believe?to try or not to try?ouch..that questions keep pondering into my mind,even my dream.okay,let me make this CLEAR..i'm joining one usrah under one organization here in UIA.And, this usrah needs a lot of commitments and responsibilities to be taken into account.Yet,recently,we(me and my friends) are a kind forced to be responsible to continue the planning of the seniors to spread the dakwah-to be a da'i.Fortunately,i will be graduating so i'm not going to involve but my friends,they can't say nothing. We join the usrah for the sake of getting better and to improve our knowledge in Islam, thats it,not more and not less. But,we are given the responsibilities to continue the traditon-to conduct MABIT(malam bina iman dan taqwa),ta'lim,iftar jama'e,and others religious program which we even don't care much. And we will be the next da'i???omg-it's a tough thing to do and I'm not ready for it.

To preach others to do good things means that i'm the one who need to change first.How am I going to advice those in tudung labuh and way much better than I am.So,in this case,i'm really dissatisfied and fear to deal with this.But,on the other hand,I want to be a better person and I really want to change myself.I've been reading a lot of Hlovate's novel and I'm influenced with the story.If Minn Edina whom a skater can change 360 and change from free hair to tudung labuh,yet Trisya can be a new Batrisya that have very strong faith in Islam,why not me???So,does it means that it is the turning point of my life?To start changing my style and follow the path that Minn Edina and Batrisya had been through..Owh,that is really hard!!To say something and not to do the thing is consider as practical inconsistency??Do I have to be one??But,to do dakwah and to preach Islam is a saint thing to do..Does it means that if I do dakwah,I will become a better person?Or can't I be a better person if I don't do dakwah??It's confusing and I'm breathless.I can't decide and my mind and my heart are fighting with each other lately dealing with this matter.Okay,this is enough said,I will never talk about it again and hopefully i will have peaceful mind after this...

May Allah leads me to the right path:p

just to show around NILAI...

we do have MCD okay..

haha,our activities in the evening

not so tidy dorm but win the cleanest dorm for last semester..ahaks(big evil laugh)

Dataran Nilai-the trademark!!

one happy family:p

Specially dedicated to those who had never stepped in the province of NILAI... a small town with a lot of warm people..okay,this is a bit fishy!-anyway, no offence guys.huhu,I'm super happy to have a very cool and happy go lucky doormmates and here we are>>

LIFE IS ABOUT RISKS AND IT REQUIRE YOU TO JUMP..

Assalamualaikum...
Hye dear...
I just feel like I want to write something here.
At least to share what I've been through for about 7 month as a college student.
Being a scholar is one of my-dreams-come-true.
I still have a feeling like I was in a fairy tale story which everything will end like happily ever after.
The truth is reality bites.
Being a scholar means you have assess to a higher level which you have to confront a very higher level of expectation especially from your parents, sponsors, lecturer and of course everyone who revolves around you.
Higher expectations from everyone surely gives you a higher burden and stress.
But, its all about life.
If you want something higher, then the risk is higher, its reality, right?
As a JPA scholar, although we have the less expectations from Petronas and also Sime Darby scholars, but still I have to struggle all of my will for a go.
Everything was a brand new for me, the friends, the language and of course the culture shock.
This is the first time I've being taught to be open-minded and really accept all our friend as they were.
They didn't all satisfied us but we could not chose which friends we would like to be close because are only us and them.
I was holding a lot of pressure to purify myself as right as I could as they were doing all things that we doesn't expected.
All of them come from a different background and you should just wish to see they wore what they should wore.
It was really tough to keep on going but I must keep going.
This year, I will sit for my AS exam which must satisfies the qualification.
Well, it really tough but I work my all and I don't wanna be such a cocky student.
I was very small instead of my friend who score so much A's in their SPM.
I was fortunate to be one of them so I must go all out for my future.
The problem is, I did not very sure what my degree is.
SASTERA IKHTISAS was a very large area which I have to pick and also meet my sponsor's requirement.
Yes, it sure really tough but I'm very sure, to work on it is not impossible at all.
I just have to do my best and ALLAH will do the rest.
Always put your trust in ALLAH.
Life is not smiling all the time because sometime we need to cry.
ALLAH knows more.
Therefore, let all the lane and path revolve around you whether it so hard or so easy.
Life is about risks and it require you to jump.
The solution is, don't jump into the wrong point.
Jump as high as you cant and you will get the star that you always wanna pick...
Love you all..
Wassalam...

nagging and nagging

huh..just to update this blog, i'll make up a story about myself and my life as a BEN student..to begin with, i'll be graduating within a month and final exam will start on the 14th but i don't think a'm that prepared for the big EXAM..I hate the fact that this exam will decide whether i'll be graduating with flying colours or just indeed to get a past grade-c or even worst, I need to repeat one more semester.Never ever imagined that okay>> huh,this semester is really burdening with a lot of subjects to focus, society activities that make my life even chaotic, and everything has jumble up.and to face the exam is really scary and I do hope that I can catch up with all my excellence friends from my class. To be truth, to be in English environment to live with it everyday is a tough stuff.Understanding is harder than to be imagined..But, at least I had come to the end and I really wish I'll succeed.And thinking of going to Gombak for degree is much more frightening..I don't even know what to take and i'm undecided aimless girl which no nothing about my future.so now, see- how unorganized my life was..I'm tired too death to think about all this and hopefully i'll manage to settle down very soon.Okay-thats will be such a long story from me..So,enough from me and hope to hear from all of you soon dear friends so that we can share experiences and know the latest information of all of you guys=)