surprisingly,here i'm again..spending my time reporting what seems to be happened to me=)huh,bigger burden are on my shoulder-to be or not to be?to do or not to do?to believe or not to believe?to try or not to try?ouch..that questions keep pondering into my mind,even my dream.okay,let me make this CLEAR..i'm joining one usrah under one organization here in UIA.And, this usrah needs a lot of commitments and responsibilities to be taken into account.Yet,recently,we(me and my friends) are a kind forced to be responsible to continue the planning of the seniors to spread the dakwah-to be a da'i.Fortunately,i will be graduating so i'm not going to involve but my friends,they can't say nothing. We join the usrah for the sake of getting better and to improve our knowledge in Islam, thats it,not more and not less. But,we are given the responsibilities to continue the traditon-to conduct MABIT(malam bina iman dan taqwa),ta'lim,iftar jama'e,and others religious program which we even don't care much. And we will be the next da'i???omg-it's a tough thing to do and I'm not ready for it.
To preach others to do good things means that i'm the one who need to change first.How am I going to advice those in tudung labuh and way much better than I am.So,in this case,i'm really dissatisfied and fear to deal with this.But,on the other hand,I want to be a better person and I really want to change myself.I've been reading a lot of Hlovate's novel and I'm influenced with the story.If Minn Edina whom a skater can change 360 and change from free hair to tudung labuh,yet Trisya can be a new Batrisya that have very strong faith in Islam,why not me???So,does it means that it is the turning point of my life?To start changing my style and follow the path that Minn Edina and Batrisya had been through..Owh,that is really hard!!To say something and not to do the thing is consider as practical inconsistency??Do I have to be one??But,to do dakwah and to preach Islam is a saint thing to do..Does it means that if I do dakwah,I will become a better person?Or can't I be a better person if I don't do dakwah??It's confusing and I'm breathless.I can't decide and my mind and my heart are fighting with each other lately dealing with this matter.Okay,this is enough said,I will never talk about it again and hopefully i will have peaceful mind after this...
May Allah leads me to the right path:p
1 comment:
well, my dear friends. it takes life to change. and us, who don't have the past, it cost you breath to change to be a new girl. make it slowly and let it be with sincerity. okay?
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